Monday, November 14, 2011


I started writing to express myself when I first moved out of Bangalore. Writing gave me a high that no amount of mood enhancers could induce.

I took up a project, and, did NOT do it completely. I was at crossroads, which didn’t allow me to express myself to even myself. Now that I am back in Bangalore, I decided to take this up, yet again.

And as Sundays usually are at the Mallar household, we all sat to watch –We the People on NDTV 24x7. The discussion was around Love and Sex and how it is portrayed in Hindi Cinema these days. The discussion from the TV set entered our living room, and took another form. We didn’t discuss love and etc. in Bollywood, but we did discuss how children should vs. could be raised.

I told dad that I was scared of the possibility, as kids today are at such an advanced state in every aspect. The good are getting better and the bad are getting worse.

Now, I tell my parents ALMOST everything. So, they usually know who I am out with, where I’m going and what I’d be doing. But that is not the scenario with kids these days. There is a mountain of lies that children tell their parents, and somewhere down the line the parent don’t even know their own children. Who they are, what they think, what they want etc… So, the children continue obliging their parents’ wishes and not voicing their own creating a wide gap.

I had been urging my dad to write and voice his thoughts and this is what he said:

" Communication between generations is very much needed which is not there in families these days. And that is the reason for a lot of discorded relations in families these days.  
People (kids, mainly) have developed a split personality within themselves.  Split personality in such a way that the line between the true self and the fake persona becomes a blur; because when the brain is told things repeatedly, it doesn't know which to believe as true or untrue. And that simply will pass on generation to generation. 
When there is true communication, both the parties (Parents & Children) will be aware of the whereabouts and happenings, and not much of guilt is involved. The younger generation will at least be liberated from the guilt of having to lie about who they are and moreover they will not succumb to worse measures in the hour of need.

Open communication between generations; for the older generation to guide, to show the pitfalls, so that the younger generation will always have a second opinion and a support system to live life the best way possible. 

Each person when expresses their true feelings will better the bonding and understanding between them. "
This last statement is true for any relationship to stand the test of time. Respect and love are shared and continuity is maintained. They say change is the only constant; and in this world where the changes are exponential; very few human relationships will stand the test of time.

So why not make these few relationships true and fun-filled? 

So, on this happier note, I just want to announce – I am BACK! Again! ;)

And this time, I won’t be just talking about things around me; I’ll be going a little deeper. Coz, I have dad by my side! J J

Write again soon! 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Baby Brother!!

Went on a fabulous vacation with my brother!

The cutest thing ever!

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My first Gif! :)

Monday, August 8, 2011

I'm Baaaaack!

I ca't believe it has been 50 days since I have posted in either blog spaces! The last post was on 18th June 2011! That does not mean 50 days of my 250 days have gone un-documented. Its just that, I did't want to write anything bad/sad on the blog. So, I chose not to publish posts. And then, I had lost continuity and didn't know what to do? How to go ahead with the challenge/ project of 250 to 25! I feel terrible, but the fact that, I'll be taking it up again should be penance enough. :) [My blog right? So, I decide the punishment! :P]

As I ctrl entered blogger today, I see it has changed almost completely. My first reaction to it? WHY?? Wasn't it good before? Now, the well defined line between wordpress and blogger seems to be minimizing. Ad I'm not liking it! :( 

I am having to redefine most of the concepts in my life. What I used to believe in seems wrong. So, the two places where words are a form of my life will get to see more and more of this evolution. And I'm hopeful that the outcome is favorable to me. Also, I have decided, that there's nothing wrong in writing about the things I think are wrong or things that make me sad. End of the day, it is a learning in itself right? 

V said, writing seems to be the only way you express your feelings Deeps! I agree. I have misplaced the capability of expressing myself to people. So, these days, I wasn't not writing. I was. I liked the part that noone was reading them. Its nice to write for yourself. I sat and saw Season 4,5 and 6 of Dawson's Creek all over again.I saw a lot of other movies. I went home. I met my little cousin who I share my birthday with. I saw a dear friend pass away. I went through a roller coaster of emotions in that week. 

The 50 Missing Days will be covered in this domain; and the day to day activities will be documented on wordpress, as before. I love writing and nothing in this world is capable of keeping me away from it for too long. 

Loads of love to you dear blog! You keep me alive in the best way possible! *hugs*

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Week That Was!

Its been a week, since I have written here! And, this week has been incredible!

Want to know how??

Monday - Was Hats Off to all Mom's Everywhere!

Tuesday - Was the first in-house house warming party with only the 6 of us!

Wednesday - When the Guitar Hero came Home!!

Thursday - Kiss Me!!

Friday - Shaitan on the Day of release!

Saturday - Yummy South Indian Cuisine!!!

Sunday - Was the essence of Sex And the City!

Variety is the spice of life, ain't it?

Monday, June 6, 2011

So Much, So That!

FYI - Day 9, Day 10 [I saw ShahRukh Khan], Day 11, Day 12, Day 13 and Day 14!!

I'm feeling terrible for ignoring this space!

But there's not much for me to write here. I have been saying all that I want to There! Is this what people feel when they cheat on their spouses?

Aah, Brainwave. I have been wanting to talk about something from the time I read about it, all those years ago.

When two people, work together, they tend to spend more time together, than their own spouses. They go through highs and lows together, and come to a stage where, the understanding they have with each other is what they desired to have in an ideal relationship. Is this considered cheating? I think not. Thats just pure work Chemistry. Right? It is not cheating as long as its platonic? But when you share feelings with someone, and that someone is not your better half, isn't that cheating? Consider the rest as fiction!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When you write everyday!

From the time I have started writing, there have been times when I simply don't have anything to say. There have been times, when I haven't posted anything for months together. So, when I took up the challenge of writing everyday, I knew it was going to be difficult, but I didn't imagine to be this difficult.

The positive about this, is, that everyday, however it is, I try a little bit harder to make it better, coz I know I have to write about it. So, if I'm low, I cheer myself up! If I've had a considerably boring day, I try and make it productive or good, just because I have to write about it.

Why can't I do this everyday? Regardless of whether I'm writing or not? It feels good, when you go to sleep with a smile. I can say this, because, it has been only 8 days, and there have been many things that have upset me or made me feel low. In a normal scenario, I would have stayed upset, and gotten more frustrated over time. [Well, yeah! it happens sometimes, doesn't it?] But not this time. This time, I decided to only see positives in every situation, and keep me up and charged for the next day!

Writing on wordpress, is completely different compared to blogger, and initially, I wasn't liking it much, but it has sort of grown on me. Blogger is still my first love! ;)

Just in case you missed, here is Day 5, Day 6, Day 7 & Day 8!


Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 3 and Day 4!!

Life, as they say, is like ice-cream! Enjoy it, before it melts.

Thats what I'm trying to do these days. The positivity around me fills me with so much love.

I feel like, I have to keep this one alive. Coz, I love this blog, a lot. So, Here goes!

My 250 days till I turn 25 Project!

My Day in Office and My Day with friends and lots more!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 2!

I love this space too much, to not update my DAY 2 here!!

Sigh! For the sheer love of blogging - here goes!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 1!!

There it is! My first Day! 250 more to go, till I turn 25! OMG 25!!!


For Your Eyes Only : - DAY 1

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Well, the day is finally nearing, the day I start my daily rambling my activities everyday, for 250 days!

Lets see, if any growing up happens. And since blogger doesn't have a password protect option I am considering wordpress or tumblr. Anyone have any suggestions?

When I started this post, I was talking about moving houses. You have heard about moving from one place to another in my old posts - here, here and here. Lo and behold. I will be moving houses again! So, this time, I'll be moving houses as well as blog address. This one will always be the primary one. And the one closer to my heart.

one of my favorite pictures - courtesy me!
UPDATE: I have decided on WordPress! :) :) So, If needed, my 250 to 25 Day Project will be showcased here : My WordPress World!!

Friday, May 6, 2011

What Am I Passionate About??

All the gaga I did, about being passionate in my last post. [If u haven't read it, read it here.] Made me wonder, and now, am forced to wonder [thanks to Daddy dearest] what am I really passionate about?

First, what is the difference between Passion and Desire? They don't mean the same thing. [Obviously]

Desire: Interested in doing something, but will do it or continue doing it only if convenient.

Passion: Interested in doing something, and will do it No matter what.

Now that we've cleared that, I'll make a list of things I desire first. [We'll try and figure out, by the end of this blog, what I am really passionate about ]
  • To become a Choreographer: I love to dance. I have been teaching dance for school and stuff since school. No, I haven't been trained in any particular dance art form other than Bharatanatyam; but I still dream about being a Choreographer one day. 
    • Why haven't I become one yet?
      •  I still choreograph these days, but for weddings only, and that too close friends and relatives. I don't dance on a regular basis. [I know I should :( ]
      • I want to learn other forms of dance professionally, and not just by watching shows like Dance India Dance, Jhalak Dikhla Ja or So You think You can Dance. 
  • To get into Media/ Televison: I have wanted to work for a media house from the longest time. If I got work in UTV or BBC or MTV, I'd do anything. 
    • Why haven't I joined one yet?
      • Places like this needs contacts, and I don't know if I can use the ones I have. 
      • I don't know, if my dad would approve of me working here, if the work is not good enough. 
      • I'm slightly prone to distraction, and the image you have about people in media, is a little distraction can cause a lot of damage. 
  • To prepare well for GMAT: Now this definitely has nothing to do with me being lazy. This is something I am going to do. But, that constant nagging in the head which needs me to justify why I want to do my MBA, is extremely critical. 
Ok, by now, I should have figured out what I am passionate about. I still don't know. Currently I'm very very passionate about this blog, and don't want to stop writing here. 

Reading my past couple of posts, and after doing some self introspection, I think, I'm passionate about people around me. And this has made me over do the relationship - friends, love, relatives everyone, I tend to do extra. And then, with more people than not, I realize that, I'm just another person in their lives, and not someone special, and because you have always done extra, they stop valuing it and start expecting more. Human psychology is like that, I'm guessing,  not that I know loads about it. 

I have had experiences in the past, which keep me fairly detached these days. Atleast with new people. Even if I'm hurt/ I'm sad/ angry, I have learnt to mask it and move on. Not a good feeling, but its better than feeling bad for a long time, no?

So, What am I passionate about?? I think I still have to figure that out. Can I chose, what to be passionate about? I think I can, And thats what I am going to do! :D :D :D 

Have I mentioned, I have the most awesome dad! He asks me to figure out what i am passionate about, so that I can pursue it.. Then he inspires me to make the right choice.. based on pros n cons.. and then.. 10 mins later, he calls just to tell me, that he loves me loads, and it'll remain the same whatever I chose to do in life!! I don't know why, but I think I wanted to listen to that, today! Thanks Na! You're the best!

Image From

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I AM [ Friendships II ]

p.s: for those who are into cooking, or would want to try fun ways of getting new recipes check this site..!! and give them some love by commenting in their comment box: Lets get cooking!!

Baangur is still playing on repeat in my music player; but youtube has me hooked on to this:

There is a unreleased movie, one of Anurag Kashyap's first. Paanch. I have nice friends who downloaded the movie. Its only a Preview Copy that is available. Its a cult movie of sorts. Kay Kay Menon as Luke Morrison is one of the best performances I have seen. I don't want to sound like I'm giving a movie review, but I sort of really like Anurag Kashyap Films! :)

I just came across and saw, the man himself commenting, and being a part of it; I wanted to join it immediately. I heard its undergoing change in Admin and maybe, just maybe, Anurag Kashyap might buy it! woohoo!!

I have met very few people in my life who are truly passionate about something. Anything. One such person in this very very VERY dear friend of mine! He doesn't know this, yet, but he is like a life support system for me since the last two years. I sort of cannot think of life without him. Its totally weird with him. He's not like anybody else. There are times when I can just pick the phone, call him, and go on talking for the longest time.. and he wouldn't have said one single word. Suddenly, I stop, check the phone if the conversation is still on, and say Hello, u there na? And he'll be like.. haan meri ma, aage bol! [yes mother, go on..] And there are these times when I don't know what to tell him. I'll pick the phone to call his number, and before it rings, will cut the call, because I'll run the probable conversation we'll be having in my head, figure out he's either going to disagree or shout at me, and its better if I don't talk to him!

Its not the conventional friendship people seem to share; he's a person, I met through work, and hence we have so much of work to discuss, but more than that, we, I, we talk about movies and songs and the like. He actually talks way too less, compared to any other friend I have; he just expects us[his friends] to understand what he wants to say! He talks way too less, and initially it was disturbing. I used to get irritated when I would go on and on about this friend of mine did this and that relative of mine did that, and I wouldn't know a single thing about him/his people. Slowly, I started "getting" him rather getting to know him. So,Whenever he talks, I listen, and with all my attention, coz he's saying what he's saying coz its important to him, else he wouldn't have said it!

When I was in Mumbai, he was the one I was with most of the time(other than at work) [ One of the two GUYS I spoke about then]. Movies, Movies, Lunches, Dinners, Pizza, Movies, Beer, Whiskey, Movies, Wine, Vodka, Movies, WWE, Cricket, Windows Movie maker, Movies. Did I mention Movies? Well thats what we did! I probably have had the most fights with him! I don't know if we can call them fights, but I would be constantly doing something wrong and he would get angry. And for those times when , if , he did something wrong, I wasn't allowed to get angry. :P Actually I don't get angry that much, so it was alrite!

[I'm re-writing this post, as the earlier one got deleted when my system crashed, but last time I wrote a lot of different things, this time, like always, this page is making me type things, I didn't set out to say!! but hey, I said it! My blog, no? ;)]

I started off, by talking about passion, when I was introducing him. Once he knows he has to do something, he will. No Matter What!

Be it fitness, work, music, WWE, cricket. I don't think he does anything half heartedly. Thats why when he does something, I have learnt to automatically know, that its important to him[and hence, somehow, becomes sort of important to me]. If it wasn't he wouldn't be doing it!

I have soooo much to say about him, but somehow, this space is not enough. No space is. I wanted to write about, how I became friends with him, how the journey was, how I have made a fool of myself, umpteen number of times, when I'm with him, how I get upset when he "supposedly" is only pulling my leg and not meaning whatever he said seriously, how he's the only one who calls me "sadu"[grumpy] even though I'm not to the rest of the world and so many other things. But I'm keeping them for later. I guess.

I cannot not mention this another friend when I talk about him. She completes us. Sort of. We are actually four of us, in this close knit group of ours. But off-late its been just the three of us. She is going to be my new roommate! and I'm super psyched about it!! I'll talk about her in a post of her own. Most probably. :P No, I will. But for now, this Image, of the three of us!

was meant to be Raavan with 9  heads! :P

I wrote this as a Testimonial [on orkut, when writing a testimonial on it, meant so much ] to him about almost 2 years ago, and most of it, still holds good!

I have no idea why I'm doing this.. but i wanted to.. so here it is!!

I have known him only from the last six months.. and to be honest I don't know him at all... but still.. he makes me want to try harder!! ;-)if i haven't made enough sense i'm sorry.. A---- is a person very dear to my heart.. someone who made my journey into the corporate world more interesting..[if i may say so ] he taught me loads of tiny things.. which i needed to learn.. so he's my god of small things(too much hogaya kya??)I can safely say that he's one of a kind.. very genuine.. and extremely correct!! he can make u laugh.. n he can make u cry.. n he can also make u do both at the same time!!! A----, You are one of the best ppl I've met in life.. n i feel very privileged to know you..Thanks sweetie.. for everything.. muaah!!

Friday, April 22, 2011

I AM [ Friendships ]

I have spoken a lot about my friends. I am just going to continue doing that.


Before that, Sharing this song. Listening to it on repeat and loving it more, each time I listen to it!

p.s: Anurag Kashyap is gonna be acting in this. I AM all excited, are you? :) 

I am in Bangalore for a friend's wedding. And this time, I actually had the time to catch up with most of the people I wanted to meet. Life changes so much, doesn't it? Its only been three years since we finished college in 2008. Most of them are getting married. Girls and Boys alike. Now, my parents are also concerned worried and behind my life regarding the whole marriage fiasco. I have stalled them for 3 years from now. But, my mom is relentless! :) :) I love her to bits! But there's only so much I can take. 

The whole thing about its the right time to get married and all of that. Who really knows whats the right time, and whats not? Shouldn't marriage happen when two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together decide to legalize their relationship? I have nothing against marriages where the parents decide and the children agree. All I'm asking is, why it is like that? A simple explanation would be more than sufficient. :)


Last night, after attending my friend's reception, I had the most amazing time with one friend who is the only one I can talk talk to. The fact that I am that honest with him, is crazy. Not that I lie to my other friends, :p but I can think aloud with him, and more often than not, he'll know exactly what I meant to say. Phases, our friendship went through, looking back at them today, I felt it was necessary. Not all of it, but yes most of it. 

I made my share of mistakes. When, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Price was out, people around me, [mean mean ppl that they were] told me the suspense - that Dumbledore dies in the end. Now, this friend and I used to discuss the series, book by book. So, when he called and mentioned the half blood prince; assuming he was also going to tell me about Dumbledore's death, I like a kid complaining to its mom, said, ya ya, I know Dumbledore dies at the end, Snape kills him. He cut the call on me. I call him back and he doesn't pick for around half an hour, and then finally picks the phone and shouts at me for telling him the suspense. I try and explain why I did what I did, but no, he was furious, and rightfully so. I also was furious at the people who had told it to me; but my reaction wasn't even one tenth of his. That's how serious he was about Harry Potter! He had been angry with me in the past but nothing came close to this one. I immediately went to his place, with chocolates and I don't know what else; just so that he calms down and his anger subsides. I couldn't stand the thought of him being angry with me for even one day!

Cut to - Sometime last year, it had been aages since we had spoken to each other, and when I did, it was messed up. The tone wasn't right, the feeling wasn't right. I asked what was wrong, and he didn't tell me. I asked a couple more times, and after insisting a little more, he actually said, if I have to spell out what is wrong, I have nothing to say to you. It shattered me in a very different unexpected way. I really didn't know what was wrong. And what was even worse (according to me,) was I didn't do anything Immediately to rectify whatever it was that had gone wrong. I took help from time! Why I reacted the way I did, I'll never know. I think its the person I have become. Or. Maybe I didn't have the strength in me to fix it immediately with multiple things going on in life. 

Forever and Always!

All is well now! and I hope it remains this way forever and always coz' there's noone like him in my life. Weird and strange as it is, I love what we share and I wanted to share this here. It'll never be the same again, and it won't be much different in the future. What I love the most, is I can always pick it up from exactly where I left it. And its mutual. [I hope]. He is a major factor in who I AM today. Also, a major factor in who I AM with today [ coz I stuck to advice given by him aages ago, and am not moving on to listening to the new advice - which he'll give me(as promised) even if I don't comply - (I do listen and consider, promise.) to them ] 
Thank You, for being there! For being who you are! 

p.s: I could have spoken about thousand other things about us, have no clue why I chose to talk about this! Its just something about this blog, makes me keep typing things I hadn't thought of in the longest time!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Let the Writing, Begin!

I have something exciting to say!!

After having nothing to say for the last so many days, I have decided to start writing everyday.

Inspired by Shilpa VK who is currently chronicling 1000 days before turning 30; I will be doing the 250 days till I turn 25!!

Shilpa, is not just a fellow blogger. She is a Brand Manager in P&G. She is the Director & Co-Producer of a Indie Movie based out of Singapore - Mausams. It was screened in Singapore from 1st April to 11th April, and got rave reviews from everyone who got to see it.

Poster Of Mausams - via movie website

Wish I could see it! I will, I am hoping, in the near future.

I know, its been really long since I blogged about anything. I was just going through a personal silence. There was soo much going on, that I didn't know what I could say, what I couldn't.

But now, that I have decided to Chronicle my days, till my 25th birthday, I am hoping things in the head will settle down and soon. :) :)

SO, the 250 days will Start on 23rd of May. So till then, there'll be preparations, and plots as to what I'll be talking about.

O, and yes, INDIA won the WORLD CUP!! WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! It was sooo sooo soooo amazing. Both the semi-finals and the finals!!! I actually saw people on the streets till 3-4 in the morning rejoicing. Hugging perfect strangers, hooting, shouting, singing, dancing in the streets.

I am so glad, I got to experience what I did! :) :)

Writing feels amazing, doesn't it??? :)

Monday, February 28, 2011

Delhi Diaries Part V - Turning 30!

This is a Incomplete post. I started Writing this just after I saw the movie, Turning 30! and at that time, there were a million things running in my head. So much has happened since. I have tried re-writing this post several times,  but haven't been able to do any justice at all! So, I decided to leave it incomplete.