Remember, last December when I was in Delhi? No? Well read here!! :)
Sooo many things happened completely unplanned last December! This year, its been quite different. There were many things planned; but none of them materialized. :( . Its the strangest thing. You so badly want for something to happen, and all of a sudden, that power to want is taken from you. I have been a mess of sorts the last couple of weeks, and hoped that the year would end on a better note.
That clearly does not seem possible too.
What good has come of it? Life has given me a sort of filter; where in I get to know the people around me. The ones who are in my life - for a reason, season or a lifetime. Its an eye opener of sorts; and I think I needed one!
Who am I to complain? the week before these two weeks have been fab! I've had loads n loads of fun!! The fun actually started one night, when I was sitting and talking to friends, about love, life, work, studies, relationships, philosophies and other like subjects.. It was a long conversation, and in that conversation One of my friends said something that stayed back with me.
He said (i don't remember the exact words, but) "Friends we make and decide to keep, are of our choice. We do not have a obligation to be nice to the whole world, just because man is a social being" or something which meant the same.
The discussion we were having, started basically between differences between people of North India and South India. [ and as usual, I was the sole representative of the South!] The conversation revolved around, how, people in North India have a disagreement, or a argument( which they do ever so often :P) and keep their stand, till one of them emerges the winner. Down South, when people have these kind of differences, and end up arguing, more often than not, they let go, and are back to being normal. So if someone is rude today, and he/she comes n talks to u normally tomorrow, the sensibility will be in talking back normally, like nothing ever happened. But up here, if someone is rude to you today, and comes and talks normally the next day, you become rude, and keep it that way. Until, there is an intervention of other people, mostly friends, who TRY n sort things out, or force them to let go, OR some miracle happens.
I think thats why, People up north are said to be more aggressive than the people down south; who are more sensible. I relate to the southern patterns more, coz, thats where I have been most of my life. I am nice to everybody. Even those people who I might have fought with. Even those people who have said really mean things about me. I cry at night, tell a few friends about it; but end of it, was back to normal with whoever it was who said whatever.
I don't know if this model works everywhere. Coz it sure as hell does not work here. Being nice is seen as a weakness, and people take advantage of it!! Is it really true, that you have to be mean in today's world to get your job done? Do nice people really come last? I'm scared. Very Very Scared. I haven't been this scared of even my dad!!!
I thought, and then thought some more, as to why I am still friends with those people? Why am I still compelling myself to be in amicable terms with everyone in life? The answer, my dear friends is, I don't know any other way.
Its true. I don't like something in someone. I cannot go and tell that someone to stop doing what he/she is doing. Until and Unless I am really really close to that someone. And even then, I sometimes fear, if I'll lose the closeness, if I say something. But thats the real test, isn't it? SO for me to survive in this world, I am supposed to develop a little shrewdness, a little rude behavior, and a don't care attitude. Will I be able to pull that off?
They say, Christmas is the season to be jolly, fra la la la la, la la la la..for me, its been anything but!
But - like they say, Jo bhi hota hai, acche ke liye hota hai! (whatever happens, happens for good) I am just waiting and watching what good comes out of my situation.
There's so much more I want to write about, but its 4:05 a.m and I really really need to sleep!
A picture for sore eyes. I love it; hope u do too!!