Write & Wrong!

One day, in a very serious, brain-nerving conversation, which I was having with an uncle of mine, out of the blue, he asked, what if I were to die - at that very instant.

I was taken aback, looked at him and asked, why such a question was even asked. He said, he'd explain once I answer. [me, being me, was just buying time thinking of an answer] I said, I don't know how it would be if I died at this very instant, because once I'm dead, I'd cease to exist - nevertheless, I wish I had done x, y and z before I died.

He went on to say - (this is important-its stuck by me till now ( this conversation happened around 4/5 yrs ago)) - " If you're ready to end life at this instant, the next instant you have in your life, is a Bonus - it could have ended, but it didn't - and its all yours to make the best of it."

I try to stay that way, with every moment is a bonus - what I didn't realize will happen, was, that I'll be always ready to die. And that is not a good thought to constantly have.

Similarly, the song - Saibo from Shor in the city - I loved it so much, it felt so peaceful every time I heard it, that, in a conversation with some friend, I happened to mention - " I'd happily die listening to this song "

And weirdly enough, since then, every time the song plays on the phone when I'm riding - I feel like death is just around the corner.

Suddenly, I feel like Meredith Grey from Greys anatomy with a death wish - and all I really wanted to do was enjoy life, every moment of it, enjoy music, dance like noone's watching.

What goes around...

Comes around! :)

Its said, life travels in Circles, just like our beloved earth.

So, what goes around, comes around. Is that why Karma is said to be such a bitch?

How many people, intentionally want to hurt another? and How many people end up hurting another? This can be credited to the fragility of human emotions. Since it isn't tangible or measurable, and it won't provide the same results every time, how can you assure someone, or yourself for that matter that there won't be hurt involved.

And somewhere in between all this, hurt and love, is the biggest culprit of all. Expectation! It single handedly can ruin a perfectly mediocre moment. So imagine what it can do a potential good one?

Its happiness in a form of pain, its kindness in the form of hurt. What is it, and why does it feel that way? There is a far away emotion, which I have forgotten to feel. I don't know if it will ever exist or if I am the only one who can fix it. Usually, that is what I tell myself before I go ahead bettering myself, that is what I tell myself when I want the pain to go away. Maybe because that's the truth. Like, who is responsible for a person to feel anything? Joy, Sorrow, love, hatred, hurt or expectation even? That person himself right? That is what I tell myself. Because that IS the truth.

I had started writing this post close to around three months ago, and have continued it in random intervals. Usually, i lose the continuity and delete such posts, but this one is different. The emotions are real, the feelings are real.

You tend to make decisions in life, all for the better; Only difference is, you never really get to know when the better part sets in. The unpredictability of life is one of the best experiences to be experienced.

My little brother[who's not that little any longer] reminded me about my blog. In his own small sweet way, he wanted to remind me, that, even though we don't talk to each other as often as want to, he knows how brutally honest I become when I'm writing and I think he wanted me to set me straight. I didn't think I'd hit the publish button on this erratic thinking post of mine, but for him, here goes! Love you PRM! Always and forever. You always make me want to be a better person.

goofy us!

That thing you do!

You, doing that thing you do... Breaking my heart into a million pieces, Like you always do!

And you, don't mean to be Cruel, You never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through...

                     

Friends, life, happiness to me, somehow are all synonymous. I tend to give them equal importance. And its a good thing! :)

When life has so much to give, why do we still stop to look at what we are getting. Everyday, every second is a bonus - a blessing. So, when they said the world was ending, I was looking forward to it; coz every moment after that was a bonus and it was perfect to end at that time.

In a place, where I don't want anything negative to affect me, in anyway. There is no point in being unhappy.
Like dad says, everything happens for the good, so find the Aanandam - and you'll attain the Paramaanandam. Peace.

Will continue in a bit. Right now, I just want this published!



Everyone's definition of love is different....the way a person loves u is the way they wanna be loved! :)