So Much, So That!

FYI - Day 9, Day 10 [I saw ShahRukh Khan], Day 11, Day 12, Day 13 and Day 14!!

I'm feeling terrible for ignoring this space!

But there's not much for me to write here. I have been saying all that I want to There! Is this what people feel when they cheat on their spouses?

Aah, Brainwave. I have been wanting to talk about something from the time I read about it, all those years ago.
This!

When two people, work together, they tend to spend more time together, than their own spouses. They go through highs and lows together, and come to a stage where, the understanding they have with each other is what they desired to have in an ideal relationship. Is this considered cheating? I think not. Thats just pure work Chemistry. Right? It is not cheating as long as its platonic? But when you share feelings with someone, and that someone is not your better half, isn't that cheating? Consider the rest as fiction!

Beliefs / Fear

When i was kid, I heard this proverb - There's nothing to fear other than fear itself!

Then. I. Grew. Up.

Grew up, with the belief that I had nothing to fear. Whenever I had to stand up for something I believed in, I did. Even at home, with mom and dad. I always supported what was right - according to me! So, in the long arguments / discussions I had with my dad, more often than not I ended up crying, as that was the only way I could gracefully lose the argument ;-)!!!

In the Indian Scenario, my parents / relatives have always told me, that they never had the guts to talk to their parents / elders about certain things. I am lucky, like that [thank god!]. I could share anything with my parents, and I did share almost everything.

Why is it not the same with my friends and cousins? Why are they always scared of sharing their thoughts
about certain issues with their parents?

We tend to hide certain things, for sure, like, you wouldn't announce at home that you have a boy friend / girlfriend. And we tell them only only when we are really ready. Or that, you drink or smoke, or something like that. Yes, it is frowned upon, we know, they wouldn't approve of it, but still, we continue doing it, by hiding it from them.

And so, when you're out with friends having a drink, and your mom calls, what do you say? When you're out with that someone special and your dad calls, what would you say? We lie. But we are not one bit ashamed of it, are we? Or if we are, do you think we are doing anything about it?

OK, I wanted to write about a completely different thing, and once I started typing, this whole parent thing came up.

I have always wondered why we create these situations for ourselves.

Today, when I look back at my days in college, I always had a nice excuse for bunking classes. But there was
no way I could tell this at home. But now, when I go back home, and tell them all (most of) the crazy things I used to do - and mom goes like - "when did u have the time to do this?" or "how come you never asked  us before you went there?" .. And No, they weren't angry. And weren't hurt too... Its nice like that! :)..

How would it be when we have kids? Will they also hide stuff from us? It scares me to think that. How do you know how to be the right kind of parent?

stop! why am I even thinking off when I have kids blah blah when there's a long time to go till, I get married in the first place? Weird!

Well, contemplating on a random thought on my own blog is allowed, isn't it? :)

I guess so!! :)

OK, now I have to get back to work.. just wanted to put random thoughts in ink.. I'd like to know your sentiments about them too.. if you want...!

Love,

How much would you trust someone??

How many friends of yours can you really trust?

This happened to a friend of mine, and it has sort of shocked/shaken me, because I tend to trust/ believe most of my friends and try almost always to be there when they want / need me.

My friend met this guy, lets call him Shael, in MBA training classes. One of those institutes which help students in scoring well in the MBA entrance exams like GMAT, CAT etc. Classes are usually held two -three days a week. 

My friend and Shael ended up sitting with each other in a few such classes. Slowly they started hanging out together, usually post classes and sometimes even bunk class n hang out. A coffee shop, a sports bar and even long drive at times.

If I did this with someone for more than 3 weeks, that person would have been " a good friend" by the end of three weeks. Ok. This. Story. Is. Not. About. Me.
Back to my friend's story.

After a couple of months of these classes my friend got into a college to pursue his MBA. He got into a nice course and life for him went on a different course. New sets of people, new things in life. He was not in touch with SHael and a few other old friends. [ the whole thing about there being three kind of friends - for a reason, season and a lifetime ]

Almost a year later, during my friend's semester examination for MBA, Shael calls out of nowhere. He sounds all excited and happy and says he's getting married; and that he wants to meet my friend. He tells my friend stuff like, how close they were as friends, and also that he( shael  ) wanted my friend to meet his fiancee and all. So, after like atleast 50-60 phone calls from Shael,my friend agreed to meet him for like 10-15 minutes. [ I wanted to know why my friend was acting so pricy n all - and in his defence he said : 

a) he had exams going 

b) he didn't really have time to hang out due to reason (a) and 

c)  when someone you haven't spoken in a really long time calls so often, it means either they want something from you or they want something from you, BIGtime! ]

So they meet in a Friendly place like McDonalds and Shael gets coke for the both of them. Then as casual conversation goes on, Shael's phone rings and he is unable to answer it because apparently the battery of his phone just died. He says it was his girlfriends call, and asks my friends phone to call her. 

Since the place they were in was noisy, he takes the call outside. He walks out, talking over the phone AND HE DOESN"T COME BACK!

He takes the phone and disappears. My friend waits for this person to come back and after like 10 minutes he goes out to see where Shael is. 

He thinks Shael must have just gone to pick his girlfriend from somewhere, because he is unable to accept the fact that anyone, would just walk away with the phone like that. Mind you, the phone he uses is a Blackberry  [ same phone I use ;-) n I simply Louve it!!!!! ] which was just 3 weeks old and which costs about 30,000 rupees. 

A couple of hours after this, he pings me on gtalk, and in a state of shock [yes, even after 2-3 hours] tells me about what just happened to him. 

My first reaction to that was - Go to the Cops!! However corrupt / non-corrupt the cops in India are, they are the Police and they might be able to help.

He didn't want to. Why?

a) He had exams and didn't have time to waste with the cops ( coz thats what it would have been if he had gone to the cops - a waste of time)

b) He didn't want to tell his parents, coz they might react/over-react unfavorably and he didn't want them involved at all. ( Acc to him, its simply wrong to involve parents in problems. Me,on the other hand, like here - I would go tell mom, dad immediately! )

I then suggested, finding Shael on his own. The classes they were in together would probably have their address!! But no, he stayed in a rented flat, as he was from another city and chances are, he has already fled to another city. Thats why Shael was calling over and over again to meet with my friend. 

So, on the whole, my friend didn't / couldn't do anything when this day light robbery happened to him! I was all bummed out coz doing nothing was not my cup of tea! And I was frustrated and irritated with people in general for a while.

What if your friend/ acquaintance did that to you? I have always given my phone to someone who needed to make an urgent call and something was wrong with theirs. I hope people around me would help me out, if my phone weren't working / battery was dead [ god forbid ] 

This may be a TMH of a non-gross kind, but nevertheless. It has made some sort of impact on my life, and not a positive one, I must say.

Has something like this happened to you, or someone you know? How would you deal in a similar situation? 

Is there anything which can undo the negative impact it has had on my life? Or is it just a lesson learnt, A big one at that!?

On a totally different note!!

Okay Peeps, Also changed my Blog template to a very very simple one! Still looking for a new one though! I think my blog needs this simple look for sometime! :P Give me ur views on it!! :D And some suggestions about finding new ones!!

Expectations!

According to Wikipedia : "In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centred on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order."


What does Expectation mean to you? It can be the smallest thing, or something really huge. I learned something very early in life-do NOT expect anything from anyone. ANYONE. And I didn't. 


Over the years,there were people who became close to me, and expectations are normal in any relationship. Even with parents, not being able to do well in school/ college meant we didn't live upto their expectations. And somewhere, I knew I hadn't done as well in academics as my dad would have wanted me to.  When I learnt the lesson of not expecting anything from anyone, I also knew, I had to live upto every single expectation people I love had of me.   

So, it was tough for me; living up to people's expectations. If you notice, more often than not, people will always, ALWAYS remember the ONE thing you didn't do for them, (like here), and very conveniently forget the million things which you have actually done for them. And then there are usually two things that happen! Either the person judges you in a bad way for not living up to their expectations, or, you start going on this huge horrible guilt trip of your own. 


I used to have loads and loads of friends. Today I have a select few, and sometimes I'm glad about the select few coz' its them that matter; but why does it hurt, when I see my other friends, who were very good friends move away? Am I doing something wrong? Or is that normal? Do i push too hard to be friends with some people that I ignore others? [ i think NOT] 


Why am I finding it difficult to be happy, why does it have to hurt. Loads of introspection leads to me to think of it as - I do it to myself.  But the question is WHY??


And then there's also that, when you trust someone, and they don't stand by that.


One of my Favorite trust quote is:

WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO : EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON!!! :) :D

Neat huh?? ;-)