How much would you trust someone??

How many friends of yours can you really trust?

This happened to a friend of mine, and it has sort of shocked/shaken me, because I tend to trust/ believe most of my friends and try almost always to be there when they want / need me.

My friend met this guy, lets call him Shael, in MBA training classes. One of those institutes which help students in scoring well in the MBA entrance exams like GMAT, CAT etc. Classes are usually held two -three days a week. 

My friend and Shael ended up sitting with each other in a few such classes. Slowly they started hanging out together, usually post classes and sometimes even bunk class n hang out. A coffee shop, a sports bar and even long drive at times.

If I did this with someone for more than 3 weeks, that person would have been " a good friend" by the end of three weeks. Ok. This. Story. Is. Not. About. Me.
Back to my friend's story.

After a couple of months of these classes my friend got into a college to pursue his MBA. He got into a nice course and life for him went on a different course. New sets of people, new things in life. He was not in touch with SHael and a few other old friends. [ the whole thing about there being three kind of friends - for a reason, season and a lifetime ]

Almost a year later, during my friend's semester examination for MBA, Shael calls out of nowhere. He sounds all excited and happy and says he's getting married; and that he wants to meet my friend. He tells my friend stuff like, how close they were as friends, and also that he( shael  ) wanted my friend to meet his fiancee and all. So, after like atleast 50-60 phone calls from Shael,my friend agreed to meet him for like 10-15 minutes. [ I wanted to know why my friend was acting so pricy n all - and in his defence he said : 

a) he had exams going 

b) he didn't really have time to hang out due to reason (a) and 

c)  when someone you haven't spoken in a really long time calls so often, it means either they want something from you or they want something from you, BIGtime! ]

So they meet in a Friendly place like McDonalds and Shael gets coke for the both of them. Then as casual conversation goes on, Shael's phone rings and he is unable to answer it because apparently the battery of his phone just died. He says it was his girlfriends call, and asks my friends phone to call her. 

Since the place they were in was noisy, he takes the call outside. He walks out, talking over the phone AND HE DOESN"T COME BACK!

He takes the phone and disappears. My friend waits for this person to come back and after like 10 minutes he goes out to see where Shael is. 

He thinks Shael must have just gone to pick his girlfriend from somewhere, because he is unable to accept the fact that anyone, would just walk away with the phone like that. Mind you, the phone he uses is a Blackberry  [ same phone I use ;-) n I simply Louve it!!!!! ] which was just 3 weeks old and which costs about 30,000 rupees. 

A couple of hours after this, he pings me on gtalk, and in a state of shock [yes, even after 2-3 hours] tells me about what just happened to him. 

My first reaction to that was - Go to the Cops!! However corrupt / non-corrupt the cops in India are, they are the Police and they might be able to help.

He didn't want to. Why?

a) He had exams and didn't have time to waste with the cops ( coz thats what it would have been if he had gone to the cops - a waste of time)

b) He didn't want to tell his parents, coz they might react/over-react unfavorably and he didn't want them involved at all. ( Acc to him, its simply wrong to involve parents in problems. Me,on the other hand, like here - I would go tell mom, dad immediately! )

I then suggested, finding Shael on his own. The classes they were in together would probably have their address!! But no, he stayed in a rented flat, as he was from another city and chances are, he has already fled to another city. Thats why Shael was calling over and over again to meet with my friend. 

So, on the whole, my friend didn't / couldn't do anything when this day light robbery happened to him! I was all bummed out coz doing nothing was not my cup of tea! And I was frustrated and irritated with people in general for a while.

What if your friend/ acquaintance did that to you? I have always given my phone to someone who needed to make an urgent call and something was wrong with theirs. I hope people around me would help me out, if my phone weren't working / battery was dead [ god forbid ] 

This may be a TMH of a non-gross kind, but nevertheless. It has made some sort of impact on my life, and not a positive one, I must say.

Has something like this happened to you, or someone you know? How would you deal in a similar situation? 

Is there anything which can undo the negative impact it has had on my life? Or is it just a lesson learnt, A big one at that!?

On a totally different note!!

Okay Peeps, Also changed my Blog template to a very very simple one! Still looking for a new one though! I think my blog needs this simple look for sometime! :P Give me ur views on it!! :D And some suggestions about finding new ones!!

Truly Madly Deeply!

Back to the present! I have spoken enough about the past and its high time I get back to today. It sounds funny doesn't it? "Back to the present" Nevermind that. Happy Festival people! Ganpathi and Ramadan. :-)

I have been attending the GSB Seva Mandal's Ganpathi Celebrations here in Mumbai, and everyday it surprises me, in some way or another. First of all, the sheer size of the Idol, Gigantic!
Then, the number of people who actually come there, huge! 12:15 a.m on the third night, and still, people around are equal in number to the people who were present at around 7:00 p.m. And everyday, different people, diffierent communities.

There's a standing joke amongst all the GSB's, that the number of people from other communities are so huge, that, from Gowd Saraswath Brahmins, GSB in Mumbai will soon mean, Gujrathi, Sindhi and Bunts! Its nice catching up with family in the nights, I don't get to stay the whole day obviously because of work.

I didn't even imagine I'd like doing this so much. In Bangalore, I would have visited our Math(Kashi Math - the community temple) for one day and for, like, five minutes. Just go, pray and get back home, or out somewhere with friends! I miss Pooj's place ka Ganpathi and meeting all of Pooj's friends and relatives.

But one thing suddenly hit me, all of a sudden, when I was in the crowded pendal last night! Looking at all the people over there, I felt so completely alone and helpless. Why alone? Coz' I didn't have one person there who I could call my own, and why helpless? Coz' I actually have sooo many people (relative's and fellow community people) who could (and would) be there for me, as my people(of sorts), and I didn't want to be with anyone.

There's something which has been disturbing me from quite sometime, and I am unable to figure out what! I have been trying and trying, and I thought writing about it might help me. Well, lets wait and watch! :-)

I am also finding it difficult to have a proper decent conversation with anyone. Me! Someone who cannot shut up! I have no idea what I am supposed to say to whom. According to Mani - I need a new set of friends! How well she knows me. I am the curious kind. Inquisitive about everything I am not supposed to know about. If there's something available directly, I woudn't be as interested in it, as I would be if it was something I found out! :P

I think its high time I de-clutter my head! I am looking at shifting houses too! I am praying I get the one near office. It'll really be of huge help. I spoke to someone I wasn't supposed to speak to, today. And now, I am feeling guilty about it.

So, now why Truly Madly Deeply? Because I am truly trying hard to make things better with me! I am Madly in love with nothing or noone and I need to fix that soon ;-)! and Deeply, Coz' yet again I am Deeply in Awe of the city which has accepted me for who I am and for the versatility and strength the city has!

Thats it for now! Signing off! Will write soon, Again!! :-)

Mmuuuuaaaaaah!!

On My Own!

" On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm lonely
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him...
But only on my own..."

- Les Miserables

I love this song! Amazing Lyrics, Innit??
Questions? Who? why? when? where? How??
Who do I love like this?
Why do I love him like this?
When will I find him?
Where will I find him?
How can someone like me ask for something like this???

Ok... sorry for messing with your head[and mine]!! ;-)
I love the song because Joey sings it in the beauty contest, and Dawson realizes that she is the one for him! For all the unrequited love Joey had for him all those years, he stops looking at her as Joey-his best friend he grew up with, and looks at her as the beautiful woman she has become!!

Dawson's Creek! I started watching this, once in a while, when it used to air on Zee Cafe-Old School. Then it became a regular feature, watching it everyday. Slowly it turned into an addiction. I had to know what happens next, even if it was an old show, and I was watching just the re-runs. Every time I googled, it had to be Dawson and Joey, or Joey and Pacey, similar was my encounter with You-tube every time I was online.

Through all this madness, there was something which came about, which I thought would reduce my Obsession with Dawson's Creek. Twiz Tv.com!!! I worshipped this site. It had the scripts of all the episode along with the dialogues of Dawson's Creek!! On the contrary to what I believed, this just fuelled my obsession. I had to read it, day in-day out! I even started talking like the characters. I knew I needed to stop!

I loved Joey(Katie Holmes), I still do! Her character, integrity, beliefs, her simplicity and most importantly, her thoughts on Love changed my life, in a huge way!

I was so into Dawson's creek, that, during exams [yes, exams] that for every half an hour I studied, I had to read one episode of DC. That's the only way I could sit through the night, and prepare for my exams. Unfortunately, that was the first time in my engineering college tenure, that I did not get a Distinction. I got one every semester until that! [6th semester] I blamed the tough question papers and the outrageous correction done by the examiners[they take 3 min to correct a paper you write for 3 hours-which you've studied in 3 months of a semester-Outrageous] and the fact that my peers, who do well generally, had not done so well too! But I knew I hadn't prepared like I should've prepared for them.

And I think it is precisely then, that I started falling out of love with this guy, I was with then. It was just the beginning for me. In a previous post, I have mentioned how I had a guy who would do anything for me, the same guy I fell out of love with, is the best guy-ever! why? he knew how much I loved DC, he actually arranged for getting it shipped to the UK, and all the way to B'lore-as a surprise for me!! By it I mean, "All Six Seasons of Dawson's Creek Original Series on DVD"

Then, I didn't just read Dawson's Creek, I also saw it!! Every single episode!! :-D!! But from the time, my journey of falling out till the time I got the DVDs, lots had changed! I couldn't get back to being the girl I was, before Dawson's Creek! Life had taken a whole new turn. My values and belief system was changed. My behaviour, my words, my actions gave me completely drastic and different reactions from the people I had in my life!

My friends were happy with the change, they said it was very much needed. These friends mainly being people I knew before Engineering and some friends who I met through engineering[Love you guys!!]. And then there were my other friends, friends I used to hang out on a regular basis, and a friend who was my first and best friend, who disagreed with my thoughts and actions, saying I was behaving differently, and should go back to how things were!

When you are in a relationship, you make new friends, and you also grow, don't you? So when people in a relationship have grown and changed, how easy is it to be in love with that person? Especially when the changes are not happily accepted.

Isn't it unfair, expecting the partner to be who they were initially and not accept the new person they've become? Well, then who do you love? The image of the person you fell in love with, or the person who they are today? Is this the reason for all the breaks in relationships, the divorces and the unhappy marriages today?

Because I think, cheating on your spouse, being an alcoholic or all those other reasons people come up with for their break-ups, underlying somewhere is this - that you don't accept them for who they are, you expect them to be who they want you to be!

And then there are those people who try, try to be who their loved ones want them to be... they encounter peace and harmony with their partner in the initial stages, but then, till when can one pretend to be someone the are not! Best would be not to change at all, not to grow, not to learn! That probably happens in an alternate universe, not ours, rite?

I started this blog to be something, and it so happens that during the process of me writing this blog, things in my head changed!

So, today, On my Own, with the guy only in my imagination{as the song suggests}, I walk on this journey, falling, getting up, falling again and slowly rising and in the process, learning a lot of new things. So, if you know me today, I might not be the same me tomorrow, but I'd surely love you, like I do today!! :-)