WISH

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I have been FAT, for a very long time now!

I have tried many many many ways of losing the extra weight. What I lack?

Focus.

As I have mentioned, In some of my previous posts, I have been unnecessarily procrastinating this activity.

The problem is, I have done everything I could, but since I don't see quick results, or results of How I want things to be,I lose the interest, and all the hardwork goes downhill.

In this whole procedure, back of the mind there has always been a WISH. At every stage of life, there has been a wish related to weight loss. I don't know, if it is a fat person thing, or just me, but I very sheepishly want to put my list here. My list of my imaginations,or my wishes.

1. This one is the oldest - One Day I get up, go see the mirror, and all the Fat is *whoosh* gone!
[ Like one of those movies like - Big (Tom Hanks) or Thirteen going on 30 ]

2. This one is the same as the first one, but it always has different stories each time I wish for it - I get something magical, or I meet someone - a magician or a tarot card reader - who'll do some spell on me and *whoosh* the FAT is all gone!!

3. This one is sorta crazy - I am kidnapped by the human trafficking mafias of the world, and since FAT me is of no use to them, they make me starve, by making me unconscious for 6 months, and I get up 6 months later and *whoosh* the FAT is gone!!! :P [ and the scary part is now they get to use me! :( ]

4. This one - You decide - I am travelling in a local train in Mumbai, and it gets bombed. I almost die. But someone similar to me really dies. The cops mistake her for me, and declare me dead. Her family takes me away(I am all burnt, so they don't recognize) And every single time ( of my imagination ) they take me to a different exotic location. There they do a cosmetic surgery on me, and I retain my eyes and my smile and most of my face, but *whoosh* the FAT is all gone!!

5. This is a recurring one - I get some major disease and become very weak. The medicines I take give me energy ONLY by burning my FAT. So, by the time I'm well, *whoosh* the FAT is all gone!!

6. This one is more recurring - One a perfect day, i.e when it is not my birthday, or anyone else's in the near future, and I'm with family or friends. I have to cross the road to reach them. When I'm crossing, I get hit by a truck . The family ( I have to live, so someone I know has to be around in my imagination every single time ) rushes me to the hospital. The doctors operate on me. Once out of the operation theater, he says, "Thank god! she's alive, but thats only because of the FAT. It was holding her organs and bones together. Now, I have removed it all; and her body is perfect" and I get up after a week to see *whoosh* the FAT all gone!! - Why a day when no one's birthday is close by is because, I love celebrating Birthdays, and I can't think of being in a hospital on any of my friend or relative's birthday! :P

7. This is my favorite - Science creates a medicine that I take, and in a month or two, all the FAT is dissolved and out of my system and my skin remains intact and not loose and hanging. So basically A medicine which in a couple of months would make *whoosh* All the FAT gone!

8. My Recent Favorite, which was my status message on FB - I wish Mosquitoes sucked FAT and not blood and check the response I got!!

These are just bizzare wishes, and I don't intend any of them coming true. [ I don't mind the mosquitoes really]

As you can see, Not once have I mentioned, I wish I started waking up early or I'll work out regularly or that I wish I could give up on chocolates in that list.

But my crazy imagination has given up on me! And I have learned that there is no shortcut to success.

So My Real WISH is that I have the passion, determination and the focus, required for the weight loss, and in the right manner.

p.s. I am thinking of making a series for the blog which is like a journal with my experience with weight loss. what say people? Will i get some love and motivation from you guys?

Will my Wish of being A Fit girl come true??

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Hidden

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 11; the eleventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Is it difficult to express your feelings?

Have you found the strange oppression in your throat when you are unable to say what you want to say?

How many times have you "Hidden" your feelings lately?

There was this boy. He intrigued me. Everything he did was fascinating. To me, he was my own superstar. His words, his thoughts, his movements, his eyes, everything about him was captivating. The way he danced, the way he his perfume lingered around, the way he could tell, I was lying by that one crooked look.

 It became a necessity for me to see he got everything he wanted. And he wanted a lot. It was like I was always playing "impromptu treasure hunt" with him. He wanted some girl - I help him get her. He wanted someone to talk to - I listen. He wanted some help with his journals - I do it. He wanted anything - and I got it for him. 

There were a million, no, a gazillion things happening around me at the time; but my mind wasn't entirely on any of those. It was on this boy. I thought I loved him. And by getting him everything he wanted - he could see that. I thought he could see that. I always, ALWAYS knew that he was way out of my league; I couldn't get him, no matter what.

Of the gazillion things happening around me, I also happened to meet this amazing boy who I actually fell in love with. It was simple, it was easy and it was the best thing to ever happen to me.Period. But in the back of my head I wasn't entirely happy because I had feelings - hidden feelings - for this other boy. I failed to see what I had with me because of him I didn't have. I started cursing my life as it was getting harder and harder to live with myself because I felt I was cheating me. 

Not the boy who loved me, but me. I also knew these feelings could never come out of me. It was the biggest sin - in my head - for these feelings to come out in the open. I knew it would destroy lot of friendships and shaken most of our lives. It was an obsession; it was unhealthy. I was blinded by these hidden emotions. I was living in some imaginary world. I let go of everything I had. My friends, my family, the boy who loved me and almost myself. 

I knew I had to grow out of this because it was killing me from inside. I sat and asked myself what this was. Was it some form of love? I didn't think so. Because I didn't want a future with him. I didn't want a life with him; but something in my system wanted him. And just when I had given everything up, and wanted to unhide those emotions which were within me for almost 4 years then; that one thing happened which made me lose that obsession or that thing I was too afraid to call anything. 

I fell head over heels in love, again. But with the same person who loved me. Not some third person. But him, who taught me what love is and how it is to love someone. I could see, for the first time, so clearly as to the kind of fool I had been. And shivers to think that I almost lost it. What happened to those hidden feelings? I told him [my him] all about the other him. And once it wasn't hidden anymore, I was able to breathe, to feel and to love all over again. 

My own superstar, as I had called him earlier, disappeared. That incessant need to be around him, or to get his approval on something I did, died down. Today I look back upon those years, I see how much I have already lost due to the things happening in my head and my heart. Friends, memories, time all lost to a feeling I had. I regret those days. But I am also very glad I am out of that phase. Thankful to every single person in my life who in some or the other way helped me live. 

And most thankful to my special someone, for making me believe that I don't need to HIDE any of my feelings and that no matter who we are, where we're from, n what we do, we'll always have each other!!

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Images from here and here